STP 99
===
[00:00:00] James Marland: if you know that your life is finite, that you don't have an infinite number of days, it makes every day more precious. So I'm like, well, how do I make every day more valuable? How do I capture the things that are going on in my day? Even if I'm not leaving. Doing some of the other things and interacting with some of the people that I was like, how do I make those days more valuable? And how do we make them more memorable? Hi friend, this is James Marland. Thank you so much for taking a moment of your time to listen to the episode. Today, I'm going to tell you three things that I am not going to do in 2025 to make this year a success. This is probably going to be a little shorter episode, but a little more personal episode because I really. Want to share with you what I'm doing that. I think is going to make my 2025 a much better year than 2024. [00:01:00] These are things I've been learning over time, and I want to share them with you.
[00:01:04] James Marland: So three things I'm not going to be doing in 2025. The first thing is. I'm not going to use social media to cure boredom. I. I've realized. That. When something is taking too long, either in the grocery store or on the computer when I'm loading things and uploading things, or even when I. Like. I do a lot of computer work and the computer is converting something and it takes like 30 seconds.
[00:01:37] James Marland: I will instinctively reach for my phone. Two. Look at a social media, look at an email, look at a. Fantasy football score. Like I'm using my phone to cure my boredom. Now. Why is that bad? Like why is using that bad? Well, in, in short doses, it's probably not so bad to spend 10, 15 [00:02:00] minutes throughout the day. Looking at social media or curing your boredom. But the problem is the apps I use, the social media, I use the Facebook, like, and even email, it just draws you in. It draws you in and instead of taking 30 seconds to cure your boredom, It takes 30 minutes.
[00:02:24] James Marland: Like you'll get distracted or you'll get involved in a conversation. That's not. Not business-related or not. Not producing anything. You'll watch 20 minutes of cat videos. Which sometimes I will share. During the day. So. I have decided I'm not going to use. Social media or my phone to cure those 30 seconds of boredom. Instead of using like social media mush to fill my brain. I want to read something impactful, something that is going to change my [00:03:00] life.
[00:03:00] James Marland: And in those. 32nd of boredom or five minutes of boredom or the computers. Compiling a video. I can read something that is good. Now. I decided that I'm going to do this Bible reading plan. I'm going to read the new Testament in a year. And I got some people to join with me, and I'm actually really excited about that because instead of mushing my brain with cat videos and just random. Silliness. I can actually read something that is important to me.
[00:03:34] James Marland: Something that is valuable to me, something that I've wanted to do, but then I'm also doing it with a group of people that I love and who love me. So. My new behavior. I mean, it's still on my phone, but my new behaviors to go to my plan. My reading plan. And ha and if I am, if I get bored, I'll just go to the reading plan and read for a few minutes.
[00:03:59] James Marland: And what if [00:04:00] I end up, you know, reading it three or four times? In one day, That's still way better. I'm feeding my mind. I am doing things that are way better for myself. Then just that moment of adrenaline dopamine hit of watching a cute cat video or a car chase or whatever else comes up on the feed, video games, magic, the gathering. I I sometimes watch those. So. How can this help you? Well pick something.
[00:04:31] James Marland: If you find yourself carrying boredom with your phone. Like I do, or doing something that isn't beneficial. I find something that you want to do. And replace it. Now, if it's on your phone, find something on your phone. Maybe you have the calm app or maybe you have like a meditation app or maybe you have a guided. Reading and maybe just do the hat you. You know, or. One thing I thought about doing that I didn't do is like, you know, [00:05:00] if I have those moments of boredom, Maybe spend that minute. Cleaning my office or doing pushups or something, replace that activity with something that you really want to do.
[00:05:11] James Marland: That's going to benefit your life. So I am not going to see in 2025. My goal is to not cure boredom. His social media or my phone. All right. Number two.
[00:05:25] James Marland: One. Then the second thing I'm going to do in 2025 that I'm not going to do in 2025 is I'm not going to go to bed. Without a plan for success for tomorrow. I'm not going to bed without a plan for success for tomorrow. What I was doing was. Just go into bed. Without writing anything down without thinking without journaling. Listening to a podcast.
[00:05:50] James Marland: I normally listen to podcasts at the end of the night. I'm scrolling social media for one last time. Sometimes. You know, the scrolling on the social [00:06:00] media. You say you're going to do it for five minutes, but then you do it for 30 minutes and now. It's you're going to wake up groggy in the morning.
[00:06:08] James Marland: So I was going to bed without a plan, doing things that once again, mush my brain at the end of the night. And. I realized You can preplan your success for the next day. You can write down one thing. You're going to do. And then.
[00:06:30] James Marland: Tomorrow the next day, make sure you accomplish it. I'm not talking about, you know, climbing Mount Everest or doing something that takes months of planning, but what is the one thing that you, if you are going to do tomorrow again? So you're, pre-planning, you're like if I was going to do tomorrow again, what is the one thing I would want to have done? That would make me feel accomplished.
[00:06:54] James Marland: That would make me feel like I have success now. Maybe there's some of you that you have a whole [00:07:00] list of things, you know, there's 20 things, 30 things you need to get done stuff in the house, stuff in your business, stuff in your relationship. I pay in the bills. You have all those things down. But. That's a to-do list.
[00:07:12] James Marland: This is like a success list. Like what, what is going to make me proud? What is going to move me one step closer to my goals. My relationship goals, my spiritual goals, my community goals my marriage goals. My business goals. Like what's one thing, like at least one thing I can do. To make. That the next day success, I can plan my success.
[00:07:37] James Marland: I can do one thing, right? Like. It's one thing.
[00:07:43] James Marland: What I was doing. In the past is I was just going to bed nervous. Going to bed worried. Sometimes I would grind my teeth at night. And wake up with a headache because I was just so like, my brain wouldn't shut off and I was nervous about [00:08:00] how. Mo, you know, imposter syndrome and not feeling like I'm doing enough. Entrepreneurs tend to. Have that. It ingrained in their brain that they're all they're always behind.
[00:08:15] James Marland: And that's how I'd feel.
[00:08:18] James Marland: And so I would go to bed nervous and worried, but now. At least if nothing else gets done, I have a plan.
[00:08:27] James Marland: To make. To make the next day as success to preplan the success for the next day. So that is my new behavior. At the end of the night. Um, I open up a spreadsheet. On my phone. And just write down the goals and why do I do it on a spreadsheet? It's because I want to record them and review them and just use it if. I maybe you don't have this problem with them, but it without if I don't have a specific place for things. I'll [00:09:00] write it down. On. You know, my three open journals are a random scrap of paper or an. A three by five card or a post-it note, and then I lose it.
[00:09:12] James Marland: So I like to have it in a place where I can access it. I phone on my tablet on my computer, so I put it in a spreadsheet. So that's my new behavior. So I'd recommend. For you to stop going to bed worried, stopped going to bed without a plan. Stop. Going to bed without planning, at least one thing that you can seek succeed in for the next day. I just started start a journal, a paper journal.
[00:09:36] James Marland: That's right by your bed that you write down your win for the next day, or do it on a spreadsheet like I do, or some way to preplan your win for the day. And it sucks. It's such a. When you go back and review. Like all the wins that you've had. It's very empowering. So that's item. Number two. Well, number one, I'm not going to use social media to cure boredom. Number two, [00:10:00] I'm not going to bed without a plan. Number three. Is. I am not going to be focused on my deficits. I'm not going to be focused on what I don't have, what I've been doing for a years.
[00:10:14] James Marland: Probably many years. Is what Dan Sullivan. And Benjamin Harding calls focusing on the gap. This from their book, the gap of the gap and the gain. And I think this was probably one of the most impactful books of 2024 for me. Is what I have done for probably most of my life. Is focused on what I don't have.
[00:10:36] James Marland: I focus on what I'm missing or how far I have to go from. From where I am now to success. And I look at. I look at what I don't have and I compare like, I compare myself to other people and what how good they are at their things and how polished they are and how professional they are and the audience they [00:11:00] have and the content that they're producing.
[00:11:04] James Marland: And that makes me miserable. As Andy Stanley said in one of his messages, there's no wind and comparison and. You know, I. I compare. It's just. I compare my beginning to somebody else's middle or end. There was somebody I was looking at the other day and I just love it's. It's marketing for hippies, tad Hargrave. And I just like, oh man, how he spells out his hub marketing and. Just the simplicity of knowing who your customer is and just all that.
[00:11:38] James Marland: I'm like, oh, I love how he's doing it. But then I looked at like the start of his company. He's been doing it for 15 years, at least 15 years, at least according to LinkedIn. And I'm like, oh, well, that's why he's so good.
[00:11:52] James Marland: He's been doing it for so much longer. And he's got it refined and he's been helping people. So, so that [00:12:00] comparison. There's a trap. There's a trap in comparison.
[00:12:06] James Marland: And so. And Dan Solven calls it the gap. You know, you're focusing on the gap in your life and that makes you unhappy and that makes you miserable. And so what I started doing.
[00:12:19] James Marland: Is what they suggest in the book is focused on the game. Focus on the wins. And. And this goes along with the number to go into bed without a plan. At the end of the day, while I am doing, you know, my plan. I also recount three things, at least that I'm proud of for the day.
[00:12:41] James Marland: Three wins. What did I accomplish that day? That keeps me grounded that yes. Maybe you're not making stratospheric leaps. No rocket launches, you know? No. Massive lucky breaks, but you are taking steps to build your [00:13:00] business, to build your practice, to build your skills, to build your relationships, to build your network. That are going to pay off in the future.
[00:13:08] James Marland: Just remember how far you've come. And I've T I told this story. Recently actually about the S the sledding or sledding, the shoveling incident, where my brother and I went out to shovel. And I was kind of depressed and like, oh man, we're never going to get done with this long driveway.
[00:13:25] James Marland: And he said, yeah, but look how far we've come. And I looked back. And man alive, we had done at least a third or the driveway all well in my head, I'm like, oh, we're never going to get done. It's such a bad, you know, I hate this. And we'd actually gone really far, which looking back at how far you've gone, motivates me to go further. So what I'm committed to doing in 2025, I'm not going to go to bed, focusing on how far I have to go or how bad it is, or comparing myself to other people I'm going to choose.
[00:13:58] James Marland: I'm going to choose to write my [00:14:00] story and recount the wins that I'm going to, that I've had for the day. No matter how big or small every day you can write the story of your wins. So I encourage you to do the same thing as you go to bed, put a positive spin on the day, Noah, you are the author of your own story. You're the author of. How you interpret the day. Even if you had a big loss, there is a win that you can find from it.
[00:14:29] James Marland: You can interpret it and change the story. Two. The lessons you've learned the, you know, if you got out of a relationship, even though it was difficult or hard, at least you're not going to be wasting more time. Like there's ways to spin bad things going on to make it a win and what, or. Maybe, you know, one of the things. The, that happened to my family growing up was my parents. They got married and they had a baby girl. [00:15:00] And her name was Becca or Rebecca. And. A couple of days after she was born, she. S something medical happened and she suffocated and died like in the hospital. Tragic terrible. Horrible thing for a newlywed couple.
[00:15:17] James Marland: I don't even think they'd been married a year. Horrible for a newlywed couple to go through. And for the longest time, You know, why. Why did that happen? God, why did you allow this to happen? What good could come from this pain? But man that. And my parents will tell you this. Over the years that gave them such a sensitive heart. Two.
[00:15:43] James Marland: Two people, women and couples who had gone through tragedy. And for foster care and for helping other people in for. Supporting people who are.
[00:15:58] James Marland: Who are, who have just [00:16:00] gone through a tragedy. And they were able to turn that horrific thing in their life. Into something good. And they couldn't see why it was good for awhile, but they were. Later, they were able to say, you know, this happened and we were able to use. Something bad and turned it into good because we helped so many people and it gave us a. It gave us a platform to, to help other people who were hurting. So.
[00:16:27] James Marland: You know, if you're hurting right now. I'm not saying you're going to get over it. I'm not saying that it wasn't a bad thing that happened to you. But You get to write your story and you get to figure out how this can be turned into something that is beneficial to you. Something that you've. Learned or you grow from.
[00:16:47] James Marland: So those are the those were the three things. One I'm going to, so I'm going to rephrase these in the positive, instead of I'm not going to one, I'm going to replace doom, scrolling with [00:17:00] a positive learning. In a community. Number two is I'm going to bed planning for my success for the next day.
[00:17:08] James Marland: At least one thing that I'm going to do that will make that day success. Number three is I'm going to focus on the progress that I've made. I'm going to intentionally choose. To focus on the positive and the things that are good for me instead of comparing myself and feeling bad about what I don't have.
[00:17:28] James Marland: Number four bonus. I have a bonus though. A bonus thing I'm not going to do is I'm not going to take my days for granted.
[00:17:39] James Marland: I normally do. It is. I live my life without much recognizing what's going on or even the passing of time. And this has really gotten worse. Because. Because of working from home. Like I don't have to drive into traffic. I don't have to [00:18:00] go to meetings with people in person. I don't have to put on a. You know, fake face and pretend everything's okay.
[00:18:07] James Marland: Or pretend. You know, and perform for other people. And my. The footprint I'm leaving in the world, like going from place to place is so much smaller. Yeah. If I don't go take my walks. You know, sometimes I'm walking less than a thousand steps a day. 'cause I get up, get, do the BA do the, you know, getting ready for work type stuff, eat a little bit.
[00:18:32] James Marland: Grab my coffee. And sit in front of my desk for six or eight hours. So. On the computer. And then in the evening we cook and then we go watch a little TV and then go back to bed. And, you know, I could be walking very little.
[00:18:48] James Marland: And there's something the brain does. When you've done the same. Excuse me, you've done the same trip. Over and over again. [00:19:00]
[00:19:00] James Marland: That it, it forgets things like it's an efficient use of your energy. Have you ever traveled to a place the first time and it felt like it took forever and you noticed every detail and your brain was alert and you notice the signs and you notice. But the landscape and you notice like, The different houses or the different stores.
[00:19:23] James Marland: And then if you do the same trip over and over again, your brain, isn't really attached to those details anymore. Sure. It might notice if a building burned down or if there's a new store or something was built on that trip, but it doesn't really notice. The all the things that it's already filed in your brain.
[00:19:42] James Marland: And I really believe that when we work from home and we do the same trip over and over again, our brain is efficiently forgetting. Like all the things that it already knows. And so you can go. Maybe I haven't seen a study on this, but I [00:20:00] believe that the people who work from home. Will. Feel it will feel like time has gone past.
[00:20:10] James Marland: And. And they can't remember exactly what they were doing. At home and this is my experience anyways, because of the same trip. You know, your mind forgets things just like in the car, your mind forgets things as you go on the trip. If you're working in the same place, doing the same thing. Not meeting new people, not doing new extra things or new experiences, you're going to forget things.
[00:20:33] James Marland: And so. For. You know, I've been working for home for about four years now, and life just seemed to like, Go by so fast, like really fast, like what happened in 2022? I don't know. It's almost 20, 25. I don't know what happened. I don't remember what I'm doing. And I was taking my days for granted. And that there's a verse in Proverbs or. Or Ecclesiastics.
[00:20:59] James Marland: I can't remember. It's [00:21:00] like teach me to number my days. And.
[00:21:04] James Marland: And if you know that your life is finite, that you don't have an infinite number of days, it makes every day more precious. So I'm like, well, how do I make every day more valuable? How do I capture the things that are going on in my day? Even if I'm not leaving. And. Doing some of the other things and interacting with some of the people that I was like, how do I make those days more valuable? And how do we make them more memorable?
[00:21:31] James Marland: So what I'm doing to stop that is. Along with my goals, like my planning for success and writing down three things. I'm trying to write down one to three stories that if somebody asked me. Hey, what? Tell me about a story from today. I'm trying to record recount. Something that went on. During that day, that is memorable.
[00:21:55] James Marland: Now it might not make a keynote speaker. It might not make a story, you know, for your [00:22:00] business or for your podcast or for your web page. But it's just something that happened today that I can go back to and say this is something that happened in my mind. That I thought was important for example. I, I was At a stoplight. At an intersection that's kind of weird. Where the other side of the intersection is on a hill and there's two lanes of traffic on the other side. And if you're not careful. The one lane that's going straight is completely hidden. And. I saw an accident there. Last may, it was in December.
[00:22:38] James Marland: So an accident there in December where the car in front of me. Turned in front of the car traffic that was going straight because they didn't see them. And why that happens is the cars that are turning to the left can block the other lane. And. The other lane the people could be going for. There's a long lead up to [00:23:00] it. And they could be going 40 miles an hour. Zooming by, so you can't see them. And so. My story for that day is instead of just looking at what's in front of me, I look. As far back in traffic as possible to see the new cars coming up to the lane to try to determine if they are. Going straight or left or right. And. And that to me, that was a good moment of meaning because in life, you, sometimes don't, if you're not aware of the danger coming, you're just going to turn and be ignorant and be. Blindsided by something that you could have seen if you were looking for it. So that came.
[00:23:43] James Marland: That was my story for that day. Like, Hey, I realized. Something going on my head, some behavior that I was doing. That probably could make a good story or a good filler or a good blog post. About something later in the future. So I'm [00:24:00] writing that down, but then that also makes that day more memorable.
[00:24:03] James Marland: I have something that went on that. I thought about, and these things, these five seconds of meaning go on all the time in your head and the they're happening all the time. Whether you're sitting in front of your computer. For eight hours or going out in the community and buying things, your mind is working all the time. It's just remembering to capture some of those stories and make it a priority. And this makes my days longer.
[00:24:29] James Marland: Like it puts more energy in my days. It makes me. Think more about my days. And it also helps me remember, like, as I'm remembering these things, I remember other stories that I can write down. So I am not going to take my days for granted. In 2025, I'm going to make memories and do things that, uh, that I have to plan to do things and make new memories.
[00:24:54] James Marland: I am making memories. I'm going to consciously write down those memories. Some [00:25:00] of them will probably show up in the podcasts I'm above them will serve up in a blog. Some of them will just be me and my private stories that I remember. I learned a lesson in their internal. But all of us have those stories and we, if we take time to remember them,
[00:25:16] James Marland: They will make your life richer and greater.
[00:25:18] James Marland: And also you remember some of the stories from your past. So those are the four things now that I'm going to do in 2023 or 2023.
[00:25:28] James Marland: Four things I'm going to do. That I'm not going to do in 2025 to make it a much better year. So what what are at least one of those things that sound attractive to you? I'd love to hear about it. You can either post you know, send me an email, James, at course creation studio.com or join the community group.
[00:25:47] James Marland: And let me know what you're going to do to make 2025 a much better year for yourself. Thank you so much for listening.
[00:25:55] James Marland: It's now time to go put your mission in motion. [00:26:00] If you've listened this far, we might be a good fit to work together in 2025. So I invite you to go to course creation, studio.com and look for the about page or the contact me page. Send me an email. Or sign up for a quick meeting with me to see if I can help you. Reach more people with your message and create more impact and make more income in 2025 with your online course. Sharing your expertise.
[00:26:29] I'd love to help you. It's one of the things I love doing, helping, helping helpers, help more people get their message out. And share their knowledge with people that can help them. Go to course creation, studio.com. And, uh, sign up for a meeting with me or email me, James, at course creation studio.com. I am starting a cohort January 9th.
[00:26:49] I'd love to have a few more members to help in 2025.
