How to Overcoming Perfectionism and the Comparison Trap
Dec 10, 2024The Perfectionism Problem
Perfectionism can paralyze us, keeping our ideas and projects locked away instead of shared with the world. As a therapist, coach, or mission-driven entrepreneur working on a side hustle, this challenge might feel all too familiar. I recently spoke with Nancy Norbeck, creativity coach and host of the Follow Your Curiosity podcast, about how to combat perfectionism and unlock your creative potential.
Our conversation revealed practical tips for overcoming this common hurdle. Whether you’re creating an online course or pursuing a passion project, these strategies will help you push past self-doubt, embrace imperfection, and put your mission in motion.
1. Why Perfectionism Happens
Perfectionism often starts early in life. Nancy pointed out how childhood experiences like penmanship lessons taught us to value “perfect” over “good enough.” Those habits stick with us, especially in adulthood, where social media constantly showcases curated, polished versions of other people’s lives. We compare our behind-the-scenes chaos to their highlight reels and feel inadequate.
What’s surprising is that perfectionism doesn’t always look the way we expect. Nancy described it simply: “Are there things you don’t start because you think they’ll never be good enough?” That definition hit home for me. The fear of not meeting impossible standards keeps many of us from starting at all. Recognizing this tendency is the first step toward breaking free.
2. The Danger of Comparison
Comparison is a slippery slope. Nancy called it “the thief of joy,” and she’s right. When you compare your work to others’, you miss the opportunity to celebrate your own progress. Instead of focusing on what you lack, take a moment to appreciate how far you’ve come.
I shared a story from The Gap and the Gain by Benjamin Hardy about a child who became upset after comparing his cookie slice to his siblings’. He had a cookie but couldn’t enjoy it because someone else’s piece seemed bigger. The lesson? Focus on your own progress rather than measuring yourself against others.
3. Reframe Your Inner Critic
Our inner critic often magnifies fears and keeps us stuck. Nancy suggested writing down the criticisms you hear in your head and reframing them. For example, if you think, “I have no email list; no one will buy my course,” reframe it as, “Everyone starts with zero. Building my list is part of the journey.” This simple practice shifts your focus from self-doubt to action.
Another tactic is to deliberately “make bad art.” Nancy recommended trying something poorly on purpose, like writing a terrible poem or drawing with your non-dominant hand. Without the pressure to be perfect, you free yourself to experiment and learn. Surprisingly, this often leads to better results than you’d expect.
4. Laugh at Your Fears
Nancy introduced a playful technique for disarming your inner critic: exaggerate your fears until they become absurd. If you’re worried about a typo in an email, imagine it causing a global crisis. The silliness of the scenario makes it easier to see how irrational the fear is.
What’s the worst-case scenario? For most of us, it’s something minor, like sending a follow-up email to clarify. Once you realize the stakes aren’t as high as they feel, it’s easier to take action. Humor diffuses fear and helps you move forward.
5. The Power of Imperfection
Mistakes are essential for growth. Nancy reminded me that if you’re not making mistakes, you’re not learning. Your first draft, course, or project may be messy, but it’s a crucial step toward refining your skills. Progress, not perfection, should be the goal.
As I like to say, “Your 80% effort might be someone else’s 100%.” Stop waiting for perfection and focus on getting your work out there. Feedback and iteration will help you improve, but you can’t grow if you don’t start.
Conclusion: Take the Next Step
Perfectionism is common, but it doesn’t have to hold you back. By reframing your inner critic, focusing on progress, and embracing imperfection, you can move closer to your goals. Whether you’re launching a course or building a side hustle, the key is to take that next step.
Remember, creating an online course isn’t about being perfect—it’s about sharing your passion, helping others, and fulfilling your mission. Start today, and put your mission in motion.
Resources:
- Visit Nancy’s Website
- Follow Nancy on Facebook with the tag @fycuriositypod
- Find Nancy on Instagram with @fycuriosity
- Sign up for Nancy’s newsletter here
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